Bits and Pieces of Huan

2011-11-06T21:45:00.000-08:00

不像考卷

所有困难复杂的问题

都能得到解答

真实人生里有些事永远没有答案

面对没有对错的难题

需要的只是勇气

I smurf you!!

2011-09-29T22:03:00.000-07:00

It's awesome....and now I am looking for Smurf Soft Toys...hehe....

Papa smurf? Nerdy smurf? Smurfette?

Have u smurfed yet?

If not, go now....=)

2011-08-20T03:33:00.000-07:00

有时候看到很多人为了往上爬而勾心斗角，

就会很想改行，

去做一些没有人会跟你争的职业，

但是我不知道是什么。

Again

2011-08-14T01:21:00.000-07:00

Again....It happened again....

You shouldnt have died...

You deserved any interventions that we could have offered you...

Because You are not demented when the most senior person in the department just assumed you were...

I couldnt accept whatever which had happened...

Because I despised at how things were done yday...

because of that assumption...

^.^

2011-08-04T18:29:00.000-07:00

After I sutured her head wound and just about to attend to other patients, my patient waved her hand at me and gestured to me to go over to her.

She spread out her hands and gave me a big big hug.

And she said "Thank you...for being such a caring doctor. Continue to be like this k?"

"You're welcome"

Thanks for making my day.

--one of those rare good moments in ED

热忱，你去了哪里？

2011-07-28T05:30:00.000-07:00

明天又要去应征了，但是脑子里全都是我不想当医生的念头。

最近常常有这样的想法。

还整天绞尽脑汁想如果我不做医生能做什么。

我是不是进错行了？

我需要一台是光机，带我回到那个我很想当医生的时候，找回那份热忱。

2011-05-30T04:39:00.000-07:00

Life is precious and so fragile. We alone are responsible for our lives. The best gift we can have is to be happy and healthy, the rest are bonuses.

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and not worry about the darkness-for that is when the star will shine its brightest

:)

2011-05-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

step into the 4 bedded ward to see our new 88 year old patient.

"Hi, Mr.Y, How are you today?"

"I am great, doc. Especially after seeing you today!"

"Oh...that's very nice of u.We like u and hope u'll get well soon, Mr Y."

"I like u more than u do, doc"

:)

LOL...We need more patients like this to make our day.

:)

A bloody code

2011-05-25T04:45:00.000-07:00

She is not one of the patient who I have looked after, but I think I will remember her forever.

I saw her unconscious, covered in blood in the toilet.

It wasn't a good feeling, not to mention that I was the only doctor there for the first 30 seconds to 1 minute. It felt like forever until more help came.

I must admit that I was in total blank at that time. Besides sternal-rubbing her and trying to wake her up whilst thinking that probably she's not actually going to wake up. On top of that, trying to work out where the blood is actually coming from.

In the next 45 minutes, all the actions were going. She was intubated right outside the toilet. We were all taking turns to do CPR on her. Lots of people tried getting IV access. She was given bags of bloods and gelofusine. Adrenaline was given both through the tube and intravenously.

It was frantic for a while but things got more organised as the ICU consultant asked everyone to quiet down and do things according to his instructions.

She finally got her pulse back but she goes back and forth between PEA(Pulseless Electrical Activity) and Bradycardia.

After about an hour of resuscitation, she was being transferred to ICU and I heard she went into asystole again on the way to ICU. She revived after more CPR and finally make it to the ICU.

*********************************************************************************

This encounter left a big impression on me as to how fragile life is.

Apparently she was still well this morning and was planned for a discharge soon. The next minute, she was there, unconscious, covered with blood, intubated, needing ionotrope and ventilatory support and maybe surgery to stop her bleeding wherever that bleeding is coming from.

This bloody code has left our team with a gloomy feeling as we left hospital today. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

*********************************************************************************

Spend more time with your love ones as you never know what's going to happen in the future.

Promise me

2011-05-16T04:08:00.000-07:00

Today, he finally got discharged.

A patient who got addicted to opioid and is now willing to give it up.

I spent 4 hours last friday trying to sort out his opioid detox program as he lives in a place where pharmaceutical and medical services are limited.

"You are still young, get help and get over with this addiction as soon as possible. Even if you need 1 or 2 years, it's worth it. You have kids and you have 30 years ahead of you. Your life would definitely be much much better without the addiction."

He said to me he is motivated and determined to get over with it and couldn't thank me more for helping him. I think the 4 hours of numerous phone calls to different people were worth it.

I forgot to tell him before he left today :

"Promise me, do not get addicted again."

I hope, he will.

2011-03-18T05:41:00.000-07:00

Last night, another ptn died unexpectedly. She either died during the scan or died shortly after the scan.

She had perforated.

The story sounds so familiar to Mr.L's story.

I reviewed her about 5 hours before she had a MET call. She was still well, talking to me while I was trying to take her blood, complaining to me that she had abdominal pain.

That was after the home team, the surg team have reviewed her.

Long standing abdo pain.

Have we missed anything?

I don't know...

RIP

2011-03-16T02:30:00.000-07:00

What I really feel like saying now is :

"GOD...please save the people who are in those disasters..."

2011-03-05T00:05:00.001-08:00

7 weeks into my internship, there were good and bad days.

However, things are certainly getting much, much better.

Nothing beats getting compliments from patients or patient's family. Compliments and encouragement from seniors just added on to the triumph.

"You are the one of the few best-est interns I've ever had"

"Come on, think about doing gen med k? The door will always open for u guys"

"Knowledge can be taught, but it's dedication and motivation that u have showed which can't be taught"

=)=)

I know that I still know very very little, but as each day go by, while confidence and knowledge accumulate, I know I will be a better doctor the next day.

Sometimes, I do appreciate how radiologists never fail to bring u back to reality or make u look like an idiot still.

But, I am happy and contented.

Another case pres soon and possibly presenting in grand round too next rotation.

2011-02-18T14:54:00.000-08:00

"u know ah, last time ur brother used to......"

"aiya, last time ur sis in law used to....."

Sometimes I do wonder what the problem is.

It is nice being the youngest, always being taken care of, someone is always there for u to turn to when u encounter various problems.

However, sometimes I do hope that I am given that little tad bit more of individuality. I know my brothers are awesome and they have experienced way more than me in life but I guess what I am going through now would not be entirely the same as what they had gone through.

So, please do not assume that everything that I see, learn, or go through now is the same as the rest.

Because that just puts me off whenever I want to talk even though u know everything already.

Maybe u do...

Maybe...

work ethics

2011-02-18T04:29:00.000-08:00

There are some people out there who need to polish up on their work ethics.

Never never double guess or backstab.

Please be truthful and clear of what you want, please communicate and have more trust in your colleagues.

If not, you will just be making a fool of yourself and wasting everyone's time and taxpayer's money.

You know who you are, but I don't think you will be reading my blog, because you so need ECT.

Please justify the reasons you want that test done and not just because you contacted the prof and he wanted it.

We get taught about justifying our requests, but I just got forced to organise something which wasn't justify.

The first time in 5 weeks that I actually felt irritated for doing something since I started work.

Breathe.....

Inhale and exhale.....

2011-02-07T03:16:00.000-08:00

有时候，

真的不知道自己是不是进错了行。

又是太感情用事，

又是觉得自己很笨，

真的很怕病人医不好，

自己也慢慢的溺毙了。

What's right and what's not?

2011-01-25T05:28:00.000-08:00

I survived through my first week of internship, but not without any dramas. Doing gen med has been pretty emotionally draining for me because I cannot bear to see patients who we have taken care of die.

He, a 92 year old man, although being 92, should have lived because he was a great 92. Age does not reflect a person's functional status and should not denies a person's right for getting the best treatment. I know I would not want that to happen to my parents or other relatives when they are 92.

RIP, Mr L.

朋友

2011-01-03T18:18:00.000-08:00

至朋友A,B&C,

谢谢你们，

总有一天我会吃得到那里的椰浆饭的。

=）

还有，

你们会是我永远的精神支柱。

=）

还有，

记得要坚持着自己的梦想，

勇于追求，永不放弃。

加油。

=）

至另外一位在世界另一端的朋友，

幸福掌握在自己手里，

只有珍惜当下，把握现在，

才是最重要的，

而不是担心能不能‘喜欢久久’，

因为没有人能够未卜先知，

能够知道以后会发生什么事。

加油吧。

2011-01-01T09:32:00.000-08:00

原来真的是这样吗？

Life is awesome..=)=)

2010-12-09T05:09:00.001-08:00

I have just attended my convocation last saturday. Alongside with 200+ other batchmates, we took the hippocratic oath on Monday and were officially admitted to the medical profession.

The process of getting into medical school and getting out safely and smoothly was a long one. A real long one...However, the joy and contentment that I get at the end made everything worthwhile. Especially when it was shared with my dearest family and friends who had been by my side all these years. Accept my deepest thanks if you are one of those who has left your footprints in my life, may it just be one second. If you have made me smile or laugh u have lit up my life. If you have made me cry, you have helped made me tougher.

Turning 25, 3 days after my graduation seems like a "double whammy" to my summer holidays too! Double happiness as what my mum & aunt would say. Triple, quadruple or multiplication of happiness I would say with most of my family members around and well wishes from friends in different parts of the world. Many thanks again to those who remember the birthday of yours truly.=)

Tomorrow, I would be leaving my current place. How reluctant as I am, it is something which I cannot change. This place bore lots of fond memories indeed. Besides being a place with a decent roof and 4 walls, it is also a place which I have hosted many friends who have visited Melbourne in the past 2 years. Most importantly, my fantastic housemate who is moving away from the city will be dearly missed. Your presence has been really important to me throughout the past 3 years. I wish you well for whatever you do and wherever you go. Remember...my door is always open for your visit and I am always a phone call away if you ever use ur phone properly(aka ON it).

However, moving house has been great too with mum and dad around. It seems like peanuts since I have the "super arrange-er" around aka mum. LOL..and having the 3 kids around made moving a fun thing to do too.=)=)

Thank you so much to everyone.

For just being there.

Life is awesome =)

2010-11-08T00:39:00.000-08:00

Today, after I had my horrendous 3.5 hours of procedural skills practice plus 2 hours of roaming around the wards for short case practice, I came home to check my email, which is what I usually do everyday religiously.

I got a mail!!!from my mum...and the title was "?!?!"

and when i opened the mail and downloaded the file, this greeted me.

My big bro and 2nd bro flew over to UK to join my parents and 3rd bro.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I wanna be there too!!!!!

okok...I need to explain a bit here.
First of all, the whole trip was initiated because my 3rd bro needed to go over to UK for one of his exams. So, my parents went over to "accompany" him (an excuse to tour around)..lol..As for my big bro and 2nd bro, they have only just decided to surprise them about 1 week ago. They took a flight to UK, then trained to Stirling and waited at the train station for my parents and 3rd bro to arrive. and yes!!!they've managed to give my parents a very pleasant surprise...they went for dinner on that night and took that pic. How i wish i could be there.Not because they're in UK, but to be together with my dad, mum, da ge, er ge and san ge...it has been such a long time since we had a reunion like tat in a foreign country..they definitely have to photoshop me into that pic....sigh.....

and here i am, in melbourne, mugging my notes, eating stir fry broccoli and fried omelet...

Sigh.............................................................................

Why........???????Why ????????WHy melbourne Uni? Why??????? Why do we need to have our exams now?????????????????

too little time

2010-11-04T01:03:00.000-07:00

only 7 days left before I have my last exam as a medical student.

S**T!!!

Too little time, but too much to study...

I can feel it now...

"I am VERY VERY THE STRESSED!!!"

2010-10-25T04:32:00.000-07:00

老天爷

请你告诉我

一定要告诉我

我的决定是对的

2 weeks before the end of medical school

2010-10-23T04:04:00.000-07:00

There is just 2 more weeks before the end of my medical student years. I am graduating very very soon. Somehow, there is a mixed feeling inside me although I should be feeling elated and excited. It is not so much of a negative feeling that I am feeling, but it is a "naggy" feeling that I get usually before a major change in my life.

2 more weeks before I finish my GP posting. Sigh...I am going to miss my GP supervisor very much. There are lots of things that we see eye to eye and that gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. She reminds me of my mum too. Always not forgetting to ask me how am I doing from time to time, reminding me to have lunch, asking me if I am doing Ok in a foreign country away from family. Not to forget the other GP's too who have been very willing to teach and nurture me and at the same time let me perform independently whenever there is a chance.

Seeing patients independently have been of tremendous help to me in terms of preparation for exams and also to boost my confidence just before I am let out to the working world as a doctor. It has also allow me to put on a thinking cap about dealing with different people. How not to judge a book by its cover, how not to jump into conclusion and always give people a benefit of doubt as there's always a different story behind everyone. I have seen so many normal people (my GP says they look normal= problem free), but when I actually sit down and have a good chat with them, stories unfold. When I hear about their experiences in life, what I went through for the past 24 years seem minute. It has also constantly reminded how lucky I am to have what I have now. Not just that, I am also given the opportunity to dream and to achieve what I want in the future. There are people out there who dare not even dream for the better because there are too many things to worry about in their present life. I certainly do hope to equip myself in order to lend out a helping hand whenever I can. To begin with, I can't be so pessimistic anymore. I am a fighter and I want to fight with my patients.

There were also patients who have been through the hard part of their life and appear to be very grateful for what they have now. They come in to the consultation room looking at ease and at peace. Always thanking the doctors how they have walk them through the worst part of their lives. My heart melted when a patient actually hugged the doctor as she was leaving the room thanking the doctor repeatedly for what she has done for her, with tears rolling down her eyes.

My GP reminded me that always, always listen to what the patient has to tell you. There are not many professions which are given the privilege to listen to what people have been through in their life and very often, they are telling u their deepest secrets. So, do not take for granted of that privilege and never, never brush aside a patient's complain or just simply what they want to tell u. Because even though we can't solve their problems, lending them your ears or even a shoulder to cry on at times can provide ample relief and support to people in crisis.

Weather has been good. =)
and in 4 weeks time, I will be seeing my family and friends from overseas.=)
I can't wait....=)

But before that, I really need to study..Not just to pass my final exams, but for my patients whom I am going to start treating in 2 months time.

Till then, take care

stop

2010-10-17T04:24:00.000-07:00

Sitting back and ponder...

Sometimes,

the more I think, the more I understand.

The more I understand, the more I realise.

The more I realise, things became clearer to me that,

the hardest person to forgive on earth is...

myself...

"Chia Huan...stop being so pessimistic...and stop talking to yourself"

Please save me...

2010-10-14T03:26:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought all I have to do now is just swallow all the notes that I had for the past 6 years(maybe not all, even teeny weeny part of them) to graduate and get registered........................

NO!!!!

I AM WRONG!!!!

They freaking made us take our IELTS so that we can register!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That means while studying for my already dreadful enough 6th year finals, I have to take an ENGLISH LANGUAGE TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In which I HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and it costs 317AUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

which is 1000+++++++++++RM

On top of that, I need to look for a house to shift into for next year.....

Cos the landlord freaking want to increase our rent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*
**
***
****
*****
******
*******

Sorry...I am too stressed.

风筝，桥梁

2010-10-06T02:04:00.000-07:00

原来那其实不是越来越坚固的桥梁，

而是越来越遥远的风筝。

风向好难揣测，

风筝也越来越难控制。

也许风筝的线其实很细很细。

从来没有鄙视或嫌弃风筝，

也曾经很珍惜很珍惜风筝。

控制不好，

钩到树枝，

风筝断线，

是迟早，

也是自找吧。

**********************************

好累哦。

家欢，

加油，加油，加油！

直肠子的她

2010-10-05T02:53:00.000-07:00

今天，她把心中对一位朋友的不满告诉了对方。

不知是否因为过于直肠子，而造成友人的不愉快。

对于过于的直接，她诚恳的道歉。

对不起。

但，

后悔吗？

应该不，因为那是心中话。

若能让时间倒流，会说吗？

或许不，因为这世上不是直言直语就是好的。

你的身边有没有这样的一个人呢？

2010-10-02T02:37:00.001-07:00

你的身边有没有这样的一个人呢？

他不是你最深爱的那一个人，

也不是最深爱你的那一个人，

可他却是你最信任的一个人...

在他的面前，你总是可以笑得特别真，

在他的面前，你可以没有任何的顾虑，

在他的面前，你就是个没有伪装的你，

在他的面前，你的一切都是无所遁形...

自己也不知道这是什么样的感觉，

自己不是一个容易相信别人的人，

可他却能让能你感到异常的信任，

明明他就没有要你对他说些什么，

可你却总是会对他说出心底的话，

明明两个人的相识并没有很久，

但心底却总认定他是个可以信任的人...

有时候，你也不知道自己心中在想什么，

可他却能够看穿你心中的那股寂寞，

无论自己再怎么努力地伪装，

他总是能把你的伪装给轻易卸下,

觉得自己好像有点爱上他了，

又觉得他对自己好像有一点感觉，

但你知道，你们并不可能在一起...

两个人连暧昧的关系都没有，

称做兄妹又太不适合，

红颜知己却又不像是，

成为情侣更加不可能，

他，就只是你身边的一个朋友，

划分不了他在你心目中的的地位，

却是你心中一个举足轻重的角色...

他不会离你远去，也不会刻意接近你，

当你有爱情的时候，你会淡忘了他，

但每当你心中有事想要诉苦时，

你会找的对象却一定会是他，

他和你的距离就只有一个转身的距离，

无论你走得多远，当你想到他的时候，

他就站在你的身边...

其实，你心底也知道他爱你，

但你们都知道你们不会有结果，

因为这份爱并不是爱情那种爱，

不够浓烈，也不够主动，

只是心底有一股淡淡的爱，

真心想要对彼此好，所以选择不开始...

所以只能选择为对方默默地祝福，

在他身边为他守候，却等待属于自己的爱情,

当心情不好的时候，那还有一个避风港...

可以让自己痛痛快快地哭一场...

2010-09-09T05:36:00.000-07:00

拜托你，加油，加油，加油！！！

random

2010-09-06T05:48:00.000-07:00

幸运星不见了，还好幸运心还在。

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
小人，你会有报应的。

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
还好今天有超可爱的病人。

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am enjoying my gen med rotation to the max.

=)
=)
=)

Forever friends

2010-08-01T05:02:00.000-07:00

Finally, I have figured it out...

Why I have been feeling this way...

Memories of us getting our respective Partner Medical School, leaving IMU, flying to different parts of the world, starting new life..all those memories came flooding back in my mind...

Just like now...most of us have got our respective hospitals for internship placement next year...One of my housemate is going to move out to where she got placed at...I know I am going to miss her...I guess that's life...friends come and go..but they leave their footsteps in ur heart...

I still rmb during the last day when I was in IMU. One of my best mate and I wanted to try out the new grand piano in the lecture theatre. We sneaked into the lecture theatre while no one was there and started playing and singing. I was overwhelmed by my own emotions. It was a hard time trying to tell my lacrimal glands not to work too hard.

The same thing happened again during the last week when I was in IH. I did the same thing with one of my buddy whom i met in IH. We played together on the grand piano in the dining hall.

It is always hard for me to control my emotions when it comes to dealing with separation and changes.

But, I guess it's always good to be able to feel this way because it means that I have had a great time. I am very grateful to have met so many wonderful ppl all through my life till now. People who have left their footprints in my heart.

That's why I feel this way when things change and people have to walk away.

I hope that it would be the same when we meet each other again in the future.

Forever friends...

P/s : if u do have time, and so happen to stumble upon this post...please open another tab or window..go to youtube and look for Yiruma's Elegy piano piece...it's a really nice soothing song...

what's missing?

2010-08-01T00:05:00.000-07:00

something's missing...but i don't know what...

The Last Lecture

2010-07-03T20:41:00.000-07:00

When you are frustrated with somebody, When they have made you angry, it just maybe you haven't given them enough time. People will show you their good side. Almost everybody has their good side. Just keep waiting, it will come out.

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you want.

- The Last Lecture, Randy Pausch -

random update

2010-06-19T07:56:00.000-07:00

Studies

It is 1 am in the morning...I have been at home for the whole day. Did i study for the whole day? NO...sigh...the day has been really unproductive for me. I have lost most of my concentrating power like before. Where has it gone? And I need my memory power as well...sigh....I hope this exam will go well despite my minimal preparation.

Job

Will I be working in Aus next year? Or Will I be working in Singapore or Malaysia? Why do I have such a strong urge to go back recently? Does it really matter where I get my training? sigh...I really have to think about it properly after exams. Although it has already been on my mind almost 24 hours these few days... I need advice...I need to talk to ppl about this...Who can give me some guidance? Home in 3 weeks time..Guess decision has to be made by then...Gosh...look at the amount of "sigh" in this post. I sound like an old lady....lol..

Career

Over the past 9weeks, I have grown to like paeds...hmmm...I think I love paeds...Hope I won change anymore...From anaesthetic to renal to cardio to infectious disease to surg, then to O&G and finally paeds (note that those are the career pathways that I have actually liked before, not the postings that i have done)..haha...I know that's really a lot...But, I have picked 3 of them which I like the most which are Surgery, O&G and Paeds...and I think I love paeds more because I love kids...the more the merrier..the more chaotic the better..haha..lol...Something which most of my friends couldnt really understand..

They are always happy

but they can be angry at times..lol

They are always trying to be an adult...

but sometimes they will give u the most wonderful and sincere smile ever...

Look at this...how can u not love them?

and this...=)

How's everyone out there?

2010-06-11T17:48:00.000-07:00

勇氣並不是不恐懼，

而是心懷恐懼，

仍依然向前。

加油，家欢！！

I want...

2010-06-04T06:10:00.000-07:00

I want to buy a bag (ever since about 1.5 years ago)...

I want to buy a jacket ( ever since 1 year ago)...

I want to buy a new badminton racquet (ever since half a year ago)...

I want to join my friends for a scuba diving trip (ever since half a year ago)...

But...

I told myself...

I will only indulge myself if...

IF...

I pass my exams and get a job in 1.5 months time...

Chanting : "Chia Huan is the best...Chia Huan can do it...Chia Huan is the best...Chia Huan can do it"

Will it happen?

Will I see myself being "MATCHED" on 19th July?

I hope so...Fingers and Toes crossed...

Why is this happening in my country?

2010-05-12T02:23:00.000-07:00

I read an interesting article today about a few prominent figures addressing their concern over the increasing UKM and UM medical graduates who have left the country to continue their medical practice overseas.

After reading the news for 3 times, I called a very close friend, an MD (UKM) graduate to ask his opinion on how the news might have affected him. He has been working in Singapore for more than a decade as a Consultant Surgeon with a certain sub-specialty

"Why be a slave in your own country, when you are a king in another?" He replied.

Indeed, if anybody would want to find a reason why all of us left, either after housemanship, after being a specialist, or even after sub specializing, and now, even prior to doing housemanship, they need not look at our payslip, or the wealth that we have gained overseas, but only to the Medical System that has been rotting in the ignorance and politic-based stupidity that Malaysia has been well-known for (in the medical field).

I have served the system for nearly 2 decades of my career, waiting for it to improve for so long, and only finding myself in despair, quitting with a 24-hour notice and serving abroad. The system is, in my opinion, keeping doctors, since the beginning of their career as House Officers to the end of it, in the lowermost priority. When I was working there, doctors are so ill-treated, while the nurses and the medical assistants are overpowering us.

I still remember the days when I was doing seeing patients and rounds as an MO, while the staff nurses would mind their own business, having breakfast in the pantry, or having gossip chats at their own leisure. My House Officers would then have to do merely all the labour-work, up to the extent of setting intravenous drips, and serving medications. If I am to expect the nurses, my patients would have been dead, or the work would have been too slowly or incompletely done.

When I was a House Officer, I had to run down 4-5 floors just to review a blood investigation of a dying dengue patient. The ward staff would either be nowhere around, or will say that he is busy (busier than the doctor?) or the answer I got at that time:

"Doktor nak cepat, doktor turun sendirilah, gaji doktor lagi banyak dari saya"

Even when I was a Specialist, the staff nurses had to be called again and again just to make sure the management plan for the patient would be done. I was already used to answers from them:

“I’m busy with something else"

“My shift is already over"

...it was routine for me.

The Medical Assistants were worse. They would hide behind their so-called boss, the Head of Medical Assistant. They feel hiding behind him would make them not under our jurisdiction, that we have no power to instruct them in managing the patient, that they have power to manage own their own. I've seen them giving medications not as we prescribed, performing procedures without our knowledge, as if they are the actual "Doctors". They are in their own world, and we have to do their job, taking blood, labelling samples, and even cleaning gadgets from the procedures that we have done.

Oh, but the ministry loves this group. They even let them run a clinic now, instead of upgrading the clinics already run by doctors. The government feels that the MAs are very important and should never be ill-treated by those big bad doctors. One time when I was a District Hospital Medical Officer, I was conducting a delivery of a baby. An MA insisted that I remove my car which was block-parking his car. I answered through the phone that I was busy.

He came to the labor room and yelled "Semua orang pun sibuk jugak, macamlah doktor seorang yang sibuk!”

It is insulting that an MA or a staff nurse claims that they are BUSY, as busy as a doctor? As a Malaysian Doctor, I have even worked for 72 hours straight. I have experienced working until my 6 month old daughter did not recognize me at the end of the week.

Is that how busy they are? I am very sure that they are so busy, that they can only spend 2 hours at the nearby Mamak stall, or can only leave at 5:10 PM instead of 5, or can only have 1 hour of lunch.

The management staffs are worse. I have to beg and plead so that I can get my on-call claims, of RM25 per 48 hours of work. While sitting in an air-conditioned office, they will at their own leisure, process my call claims so that I will receive them by the next decade.

The state health or Hospital Director would just give another inspirational talk (of bollocks) on team effort and beauty of teamwork.

That is how Malaysian doctors are treated in the government sector: without respect, without dignity and without significance. Why?

It is because we are bound by ethics to try our best to save lives, despite how ill-treated we are. We hardly have time to complaint because we are too busy or tired, and we would rather spend the precious time resting or seeing our loved ones. The burden of trying to save lives is on our shoulders alone. No MAs or Staff nurses would shoulder it with us. They have their own bosses: the Sisters, Matrons, or Head of MAs, which job description is to ensure that the big bad doctors will not ask their underlings to do extra work.

This is how the Malaysian Ministry of Health have treated their doctors. I am very sure that in each and every doctor, there is a slowly-burning patience in serving the Malaysian people, which will eventually fade and cause them to surrender to serving a place that treats them better.

A few colleagues who graduated from UK choose to serve there:

"The pay is more, and we get the respect we deserve"

Another works in Brunei:

“Here the staff nurses respect Malaysian doctors, and they are very co-operative" (He ended up marrying one)

A few are consultants in Singapore (working with me):

"Here we are treated well, we spearhead the management, and every else do their work to the best of their capabilities".

A few even enjoys working in Indonesia:

“The work-load is horrible since there are a lot of patients, but we are well respected by every hospital personnel" (They have migrated there for nearly a decade)

I am sure that people will see doctors as power-hungry individuals who want to be the boss in the hospital. Trust me, after having graduated 6-7 years of medical school, earning a DEGREE, and subsequently MASTERS, and SUBSPECIALITY, you would expect a degree of respect and being considered important. We are trying our best to improve patient's quality of life, or making sure he lives another day. Is it too much to ask from the system that we are important?

I find that Malaysia is the only country that is making doctors' lives miserable and treated like rubbish. It was never about the pay in the first place. It is about the treatment we are getting and the false political-based promises. Do you know that the so-called circular about doctors can have the day off after working 24 hours straight released JULY 2009 is not yet implemented? Do you know that the raise of UD 41 to 44 does not involve every doctor in the government service?

We are waiting for improvement. We have waited a long time when we were working in the system. Somewhere along the line we decided to leave and wait outside the system. Until the system changes, we will continue to work overseas, in countries which are appreciative of us. Trust me, Malaysian-graduate doctors are considered highly skilful and competent in neighbouring countries, and the 15 % brain drain is more significant than you think.

We will return when the system prioritize us and gives us the quality of life we deserve.

If it stays the same, Malaysian Hospitals would end up having Staff nurses and Medical Assistants as "Doctors", and we would have to send patients to Indonesia for an appendicectomy.

Hear our voice. We hardly speak, but will usually fade away from conflict (and fly to another place).

Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Why we left and why we will continue to leave...
Posted by: MS Mohamad on The Star

名言

2010-05-08T18:52:00.000-07:00

今日名言

世界上的男人都是骗子，

不同的是，有的骗你一时，有的则骗你一世。

你同意吗？

哈哈。。。

=）

为什么。。。

2010-05-03T02:24:00.000-07:00

为什么长这么大，泪腺还是像小孩子的那样。。。

thought of the day

2010-04-22T00:06:00.000-07:00

I just had the most interesting ride home from the city ever...ah well...i won say it's most interesting looking at what actually happened, but it would definitely be one of the most memorable one.

I boarded an express train from melbourne central back home today. While I was looking for seats and happily spotted one, I noticed this studious-looking chinese teenager just sitting behind my row. He was in a blazer and was just doing nothing like most of the other passengers. No...I did not fall heads over heels for this teenager nor was i stalking him...The main point is not about his look.

Things started happening when there were 2 caucasian teenagers who boarded the train at 2 stations after that. They sat in the seats opposite the chinese teenager and started imitating how chinese speak english. Ok..I wouldn't say how chinese speak english. I would rather say, they started speaking english in a non-australian accent way. At first, the chinese teenager did not react at all. But, this did not put the caucasians off and started nudging him on his knee and asking him all sorts of things in the "non-australian accent way". I turned towards them occasionally(as i was sitting facing backwards) to try and make out what's going on. Indeed, i was curious in what did the caucasians say and what will happen next. Something must have happened/ some provocative words must have been blurted which sets off what happened next.

When I turned my head around the next time, what i could see was the 2 teenagers were wrestling each other trying hard to pin each other down. I guess at this point of time, the whole train of passengers were shock. Of course, that included me. For the first 10 seconds, nobody did anything but staring at them wrestling around. Things were racing through my mind, will I be able to stop and pull these 2 guys apart? or will I get squashed and punched if i intervened? Although my mind was blank, I stood up and tried to yell stop...I must say, i was scared at that time. Thankfully, 2 caucasian adults then came into the situation and pulled the 2 teenagers apart. It was so close that they're gonna start punching each other.

There were a few other passengers around who started warning and lecturing the caucasian teenager while some were asking if the chinese teenager was feeling alright. It was kind of relieving when all of the passengers actually acknowledge that wat the caucasian teenager did was wrong and stood up for the chinese teenager. I was wondering what's wrong with this caucasian kid and doesnt he have better thing to do than provocating ppl by passing racism remark? It is worrying to know that racism is still an issue as we're living in 21st century.

I can understand how the chinese kid is feeling as I am also 黄皮肤 and I don really speak in a proper australian accent as well. I left home and came all the way to Australia to complete my medical degree. I am looking for my niche in medical world however I don plan to invade other people's world by taking what is suppose to be yours if you feel like I am taking something away from you. This incident has a big impact on me as the job application thing is creeping up on me. I am being placed as a group 2 candidate while applying for a job necause of my status as international student. That means I have less chance of getting into the hospital that I want. If i go back to Malaysia, I am also being placed as second group as well because of my status of being non-bumiputera which means "non aboriginal". Wherever I go, no matter how good or hardworking I am, I am always being second in priority.

Is there actually a place that I will be placed in first ranking group?

Maybe this is when people will start saying that, we should count our blessings in bad circumstances. Indeed, I have a caring and supportive family, well educated parents who love me and provide me with all they have, loving and understanding friends and a bright future in medical career for me to work on for. It doesn't really matter if I get placed in a hospital noone wants to go.. yes...I will rant a bit/ maybe a lot...but time will pass and I will learn. In no time, I will be just like the people who work in a hosp which everyone wants to go to. Worst case scenario is, If i don get a job here, I will be going back to Malaysia/ probably work in Singapore, where I'll be near home...

I will be just fine anywhere...=)

天大地大，自有留人处。=）

April happenings..=)

2010-04-17T19:20:00.000-07:00

Visit to French Quarter Patisserie Boulongerie on the day we went to north melbourne flea market..

bacon and egg broiche

My Mocca

the petite four that we ordered to share...we either ate the fourth one or the angle that i took this pic just sort of hide the fourth one..

Oyako don in Menya....this was YUMMY!!!!=)

I didnt know how south wharf got its name until the day i walked from flinders to south wharf DFO and stumbled upon this old wharf..=)wanted to take a picture with me and the wharf in it...succeeded..lol...spot me...=)

I like the architecture of this bridge..

a lot..=) and the colour of the sky on that night....=)

加油，家欢！！

=)

A little sunny day (^.^)

2010-04-15T17:24:00.001-07:00

Weather has become colder. But.......

BUT!!!! It is a sunny day today...

the perfect day to have a ride out there...listening to "I see trees of green, red roses too, I see them bloom for me and you and i think to myself what a wonderful world...I see skies of blue and clouds of white............................and i think to myself what a wonderful world..."

"It may not have rainbows today...but i see friendly faces during my ride, i see friends shaking hands saying how do you do..although i don't know whether they say I love you.......................... and i think to myself what a wonderful world..........."

My favourite song...=)

I purposely went for another round just so that i could finish listening to this song during the bike ride...=)

Have one more hour before i leave for my last lecture in O & G posting. I will definitely miss this posting...paeds..here i come..

Can't say enough of it...Glad that I decided to go out for a ride...=)

There certainly are many things to worry in life...but no point worrying about them all the time.. I am sure bit by bit I will be able to solve and conquer all of them..After all, life is about making decisions and solving problems...and smile at the end no matter what the outcome is...=)=)

Life.....I love!

(^.^)

P/s : the cars/trucks/cyclists/taxis/buses out at the traffic light just now...maybe I made u burst out laughing just now..but i am glad if u did cos I made your day by falling off the bike.....hahahahaha...i was LOL-ing at myself too...=)=)

are u ready to conquer the summit?

I will cheer for you!!!=)

Growing up

2010-04-11T04:58:00.001-07:00

Maybe at some point I would grow up

Not in the sense of being old enough to vote, get married, leave home, get a job

But in the sense of being able to pinpoint why some are chosen, some are not

Why some are blessed and others seem to suffer.

Maybe that was what being a grown-up truly meant.

You finally understood the ways of the world.

You were finally given insight into the truth of life.

Maybe you could do all those other things, live as though you were grown up, but you would never be grown up until you had that kind of understanding and knowledge.

Until you had that kind of enlightenment.

- from Dorothy Koomson's "goodnight, beautiful"

P/s : I am worried....worried about job application, worried about where i am gonna get, worried about the life after graduating...

Passion

2010-04-07T19:52:00.000-07:00

I have met lots of ppl throughout my 24 + years of life. The people who impressed me most are those who have a strong passion about something. May it be a type of sports, books, hobbies or just any kind of random thing. I envy people who can make so much effort or invest so much time, energy and money into something. I envy people who have found something for them to "drown into".

"What is my passion?"

This thought has been bugging me for quite a while recently. I have always been someone who likes to try out new stuffs/activities. I wonder if this is a good thing as then I wouldnt be excelling in one. Listing the things that i wanna do and have done/haven't done :

- bake/cook (done a lot but always think it's still not enough)
- opening a bakery/cafe (will it be possible? maybe after i retire)
- scuba dive (done)
- bungy jump (waiting for the right time + right ppl to do it with)
- sky diving (hopefully soon)
- owning a DSLR + take lots of photos (hope this will be soon after I start work)
- traveling (done + planning to lots more)
- mountain hiking (done + planning to do more)
- performing (either piano/guitar/singing - tried the first 2 before but not singing)
- Medicine Sans Frontieres ( i hope this dream will come true - to work as a doctor without borders)
- O & G ( to deliver as many babies as possible in different kinds of conditions/situations)
- surgery (to have superb skills in operating)
- infectious diseases (to see as many different kinds of diseases as possible)

After listing everything, I donno what is the thing that i like the most cos I like everything. Is this a good thing? too greedy eh? =P

What is ur passion?

quote of the day

2010-03-27T23:53:00.000-07:00

someone said...

U will know when u meet that person cos the way for u to be happy is to make him/her happy...

=)

A place for u to...

2010-03-25T03:05:00.000-07:00

The Royal Botanical Gardens, Melbourne...

It is just a place suitable for everything...

hang out with friends...frisbee, bbq, picnic, climb trees, catch up, jog...

or...

just sit back and relax...=)

Hope u had a great day and have many more great days ahead...=)

worries and desire

2010-03-25T02:36:00.001-07:00

I am sorry cos the text below is going to be super random. I haven't been able to arrange my thoughts properly lately..lol.

I was just browsing through my old blog and that made me have the sudden desire to update my blog.=)

So much has happened since the last time i updated my blog. Summer holiday was a blast. First, starting with the awesome Europe trip when i met a lot of my close friends since IMU, then back home with my family and friends. I will just fast forward everything since I have came back to Melbourne for almost 6 weeks now.

Doing O & G atm. Liking it at times but slacking most of the time as well. My mind hasn't been able to focus at all. I guess it's just my personality to be thinking and worrying a lot. Internship application, to work in australia or Malaysia or Singapore...If i were to work in Australia where should I choose? If i get a far away hospital what will happen to me? How is my work life going to be like? Will which hospital I get affect my post grad training? Wat post grad training i wanna do? And then I will be dwelling over all these questions without answers..and making myself feeling more and more clueless and more and more emo...

Things were even worse cos SY moved out this sem. Honestly, she has been the most hardworking and conscientious one among the 3 of us. I've always looked up to her as a motivation. I guess it does affect a bit after she moved out. Although she should not be blamed at all for me being slack cos I have the potential to be slack anyway..haha...Sigh...How i miss having the 3 of us in this house...the cookouts, the dining, the grocery shopping time, the study-together-time, the chatting-offline-on-msn although we're just one staircase away...

Things were definitely lifted up during the week when I was allocated to delivery suite. I actually felt happier when I only get 6 hours sleep a day and being in hospital for 14 hours straight. Cos I get to deliver babies. Am actually thinking about doing O & G now...=)

"Desire is the root of all sufferings"

I was just discussing the above quote with a friend on some random day. I have always believe in this quote and it just struck me today that why I have been suffering from all my worries since I came back. I want to get a job here in Austin Hospital and somewhere near Melbourne so that I don have to change my current situation(I hate changes). I want to have my friends around me most of the time. I want to believe that fairy tales do still exist and I will meet "the one" in the future. I want my family to be near me when i work next time. I want to travel around the world in the future. I want........There are just so many things that I want/desire and all these thoughts made me feel apprehensive because the future is full of uncertainties. I won know what is going to happen tomorrow (except that I have a tutorial by Dr.MH and I am skipping it) needless to know what is going to happen next month (when internship application starts) or next year (where am i gonna work) or next 10 years.

But, here I am, always worrying about things that won help by worrying. This is not the way to live life. Tomorrow is important, but living to the fullest today is even more important.

I must apologise if i have been sulky or emotional recently.
I must apologise if i have been showing u that I am the person with the most worries in the world.
I must apologise if i haven been a good friend and provide support when u need it.

I must thank u if u have listened to my complaints.
I must thank u if u have gave me words of encouragement.

There are just so many things to look forward to in the future.
If u had a bad day today, remember a simple quote "tomorrow will be better... If tomorrow is worse, it's alright...there's always the day after tomorrow"

How is ur day today? dear friends...=)

It has been 9 months

2009-10-26T03:32:00.000-07:00

It was ages ago since the last time I updated my blog. Why did I actually abandon it for so long? Hmm..I wonder... Was just chatting with one of my old old friend from primary school and he was the one who reminded of the existence of my blog.. Making an excuse that the past 2 months have been busy for me, but was it really? haha...

Studies wise...nothing much exciting..didn't really enjoy my first rotation (rehab, aged care, palliative and psych of old age)..It was too pointless and I guess I was the one to be blamed as my mood was still stuck in winter holidays. Then came emergency rotation which was such a nice change. Enjoyed my 3 weeks in Northern and did heaps of stuff(IV cannulationssss, venepunctures, suturing, blood cultures, plasters, etc). Then I went to Kyabram for 3 weeks of rural rotation. I really enjoyed myself for the entire rotation. I slept, watched tv, jogged and read a marvelous book "Mao's Last Dancer". I missed the people in that small town and not to forget the scones in the hospital..yum...I am actually contemplating to become a rural GP...haha...and now I am in the 2nd week of my psych rotation. It is interesting but I think it is exhausting as well, emotionally and mentally exhausting... I hope I can pass this sem and go back to Malaysia as soon as possible. I miss home.

The visit of my parents and aunt's family did relieve a bit of my homesickness. They came in September and definitely had fed us well. I miss the feeling of coming home for lunch and dinner with the whole house full of the smell of home cooked food. I miss mum asking about "How's Uni? and what ptns did u see today? Did u ask ur prof any questions?"..haha..and my dad would be "hogging" onto my laptop reading his Malaysia Kini. Mum never fails to complain that dad is spending too much time in front of the laptop. haha...

As for me, things have been good. There are ups and downs but I guess I can't ask for more. I am depressed when I miss home. I am nostalgic when I think of my friends in JB and the IMU peeps all over the world. But I was certainly elated over the weekend after receiving 5 calls from different parts of the world. Some called to make sure I am ok, some called to discuss about "serious stuff", some called to make me laugh. I feel contented for having such good friends. Now, I truly understand quality is more important than quantity. I am really happy after that. I guess this keeps me going.

Counting down : six and a half weeks until I return to Malaysia. It has been 9 months since I left home.

p/s : not forgetting the one who sms-ed to check that my eyes are not closed so that I can study.=)

Thank you...Miss u guys heaps...I went horse riding in Echuca (his name is sonny)=)

Little ones..

2009-08-04T19:01:00.000-07:00

I miss them a lot...a lot......

LOL...poor zu hao...

sigh

2009-06-12T23:34:00.001-07:00

What should i do?

If there's something that I can do to make my friend happy, but after doing it, I'll be a bit unhappy, should I still go ahead and do it?

Where art tho...

2009-06-07T19:22:00.000-07:00

I am sad...cos i couldnt find the pics that i took for my "3 babies" back in Vista..

The round pinky pig called "beibei" of mine(my 20th birthday pressie)
The "paul-hippo-in-my-mind-but-everyone-else-says-it's-cow"(gift from my parents when they couldnt bring me along to UK with them)
The "red-dog-patrick"(chui han's 20th birthday pressie)

I rmb taking their pics during one study break while both of us (chui han and I) were bored to death mugging on notes.

First I regretted not bringing them to aus to keep me company.
So, thought of looking up the pics to just to fulfil myself.
Now I can't find them...

=(

3 more weeks to exams

2009-05-31T04:59:00.000-07:00

study...study...study...

drama...study...drama...

guilty...study...study...

study...forget...study...

u know how my life has been for the past few weeks...

I know the day will come soon...the day when i can finally lie on a piece of grassland full of daisies...relaxing...=)

anyway...things hasnt been that bad at all...the phone call that i got from these two "boys" really made my day...How i miss the times when we went scuba diving together...and now they are having a "honeymoon" in Queensland...=P

3 more weeks to exam...
It's the final countdownAren't they pretty?

=)

Can't believe it...

2009-05-11T23:35:00.000-07:00

Lesson learnt...

Don expect ppl to treat u the same way as u treated them...

Cos ppl are just different...

I have low EQ(which i always thought mine is above average when it comes to tolerance level)...

But i have been getting upset quite easily recently...

Have to let go easily lar...

Neuro is making me nuts...

And exam is making me stressed...

What could be worse?

haha...(ironic laugh)

I miss Little Amy...

2009-05-01T18:37:00.001-07:00

Amy(My san ge's aka 3rd bro's daughter) and I just before I left Malaysia this year... she's turning one in June...=)

My bro teaching her how to clap and dance...oh btw, they shaved her hair...haha...botak d...

random ;)

2009-04-20T05:50:00.001-07:00

Everything went on really well today.

My case presentation in front of the batch and 2 profs.

And the most important thing is when the ptn said sorry to me for being grumpy to me last week when i was trying to obtain a history from her, every other things didn't matter anymore.

thanks to the one who gave me the case. he's gone and i miss him. ;)

thanks to those who listened =)

thanks to the ptn ;)

p/s : which one is cuter? ;) or =) ?

random...=.=lll

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=)

2009-04-16T04:15:00.000-07:00

I know it's no big deal....

But it's big deal for me!!!!!!

My first subcuticular suture on a real patient was done today!!!!!!!!!!

with a bit of "intentional tremor"...

with a bit of cold sweats...

10 cm long of subcuticular was done...

but it was EXCELLENT - that's what the reg said...

=)

=)

Thanks Dr. B

Stop it...

2009-04-15T03:59:00.000-07:00

Stop annoying the heck out of me...

Stop guessing stupidly...

Stop asking me whether is that guy my boyfriend or not when I've answered for 3 freaking times already...

and to u who is annoying...

I am not interested in you!!!

Should I?

2009-04-11T03:44:00.000-07:00

After 3 weeks of surgical posting, I kind of made up my mind to become a surgeon in the future.

But, after being put on the spot to see a ptn in ED upfront and trying hard to dx but failed terribly. This is what the surgeons need to do in seeing an urgent surgical ptn. I am not sure whether I will be able to bear with all the stress and hardwork.

Yup...I know it's always not easy if one wants to excel in something. Be it training to be surgeon or even cooking up a good meal.

After witnessing how "chaotic" a surgeon's life could be (having to wake up in the wee hours to perform surgeries), I am apprehensive about my decision.

But, it's the first time I felt so much into it as compared to the other specialties that I like.

Should I?

though there's still a long way to go...

I want to remember...

2009-04-06T03:14:00.000-07:00

today...

I want to remember today...

Scrubbed in for an inguinal hernia repair surgery..(i know i know..not such a big deal)

But, i was really grateful to the surgeon to let me

see all the structures layer by layer...

cutting thro all the fibres and fats so that i could have a good view of external oblique muscles..

feel the external ring..

feel the spermatic cord...

identify the ilioinguinal nerve...

put my little finger thro the herniated peritoneal sac and feel the intestines...

answering all my "silly and weird" questions...

and talking and making it a very pleasant learning surgery...

I really like surgery...

Thank you Dr...

Baking spree...=)

2009-04-02T01:51:00.001-07:00

One fine friday night, with all these ingredients, I made...

CUPCAKES and MUFFINS for Hui Ling's 24th birthday!!!!

Hope u liked it...=)

Hohoho!!!=)

2009-04-01T04:13:00.000-07:00

With a well-rested brain(slept for 8 and a half hours), I went for surg 2 ward round at 7 am...

And I ended up with...

Only 4 inpatients "round-ed"..

2 ED ptns review..

1 met call..

1 emergency laporotomy which then revealed a GI perforation related to non-hodgkin Lymphoma (MALT). Not to mention taking pics of the "HOLE" and weird looking transverse colon.

1 mastectomy..

1 carpal tunnel decompression surgery..

and a fully hyped up ME after seeing a toxic abdo with perforated stomache and DISTENDED transverse colon, pectoralis major muscles in which a live-beating heart is pumping o.O, median nerve (real one)..

still hyper after 6 hours of standing and peeping in between surgeons and under surgeon's arm or armpits..!!!(sigh...medical student wat...)

Oh ya..and a scene where a doctor turning scarily-PALE and nearly fainted in the theatre...hehe...(I hope he doesnt see this)..

I LIKE SURGERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How lah....Now i feel like i like surg too after thinking that Cardio might be interesting, ID might be challenging, Haematology might be interesting too, Renal sounds fun and Neuro has always been mysteriously captivating...

tough choice, tough choice...

haha...

I love my patients

2009-03-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

I love my patients..

Not that they're under my care..

Who I meant were those that I've seen and talked to..

They never fail to teach me something new everyday..

There was this patient whom i saw today told me about her family and her current relationship with her daughter which wasn't as good as she had hoped..

She said she would have done something different if she knew this was going to happen.

Not forgetting to advise me...

"Do not let yourself drift away from your family, from your parents, from your home. Cos by the time when u realised it, it will be too late."

It struck me...

It sort of reminded me..

that I shouldnt take for granted of the existence of people around me anytime.

that I should spend more time with my parents, listen to them as they get older..

that I should cherish the things that I have and be grateful..

=)

I've found the reason

2009-03-12T18:16:00.001-07:00

I think i've found the reason.

When I saw the care and concern radiating from his wife's eyes.

I think I've found the reason to keep him going.

He has to live on for the people he loves and also for the people who love him.

Just love

and nothing more than that.

I need a reason.

2009-03-10T03:44:00.000-07:00

He has Multiple Myeloma (A blood cancer which eats up your bone and damage your organs- that's what he knows about his disease) with poorly controlled Diabetes (high blood sugar level) complicated by Ischaemic Heart Disease, Cerebrovascular Disease, Peripheral Vascular Disease. He had 2 bilateral leg amputations which one was above knee and the other was below knee due to the complication of Diabetes. Not long from now, he's gonna be on dialysis because of chronic renal impairment contributed by both Multiple Myeloma and Diabetes. His heart function is failing due to significant coronary artery disease and Aortic Valve Replacement Surgery to which he happily asked me to listen to the clicking of his heart valves.

He told me what he was gonna do when he is about to die.

To which I replied with a silent nod.

It pains me when he talks about death with a happy-smiley-worry-free-face.

It pains me when he told me all the pains and aches that he is going through.

It pains me when I see the tear at the corner of his eye throughout the entire conversation.

" Take care " was the only thing I could say when I left his bed.

Besides being able to talk and eat, help is needed to move about, dress, shower and going to toilet. This was his answer when I asked what he normally does in the nursing home :

" Nothing..."

Give me a reason to keep him going.

To which I hope I could.

BIRTHDAY POST

2009-02-28T16:28:00.000-08:00

"Sorry blog for abandoning u for so long.."

I guess I just have to put this down in my diary as soon as possible before the feeling fades away.

Reminiscing the time I had with my brothers when we were young is something that I always do. Seeing all my nieces and nephews growing up made me realize that it was actually quite a long time ago since we(the siblings) last do something together. With regards to that, of course we haven't been as closely-knit to each other now as compared to those days. Nonetheless, I truly appreciate the meaning of a Chinese saying "Blood is always thicker than water" as I grow up.

No matter how many quarrels we've had,
No matter how many nasty things I've said to you
No matter how many times u've irritated me

You guys will always be my dearest and best brothers I could ever have.

On the other hand, I always regard myself as the little one whom my parents are 'afraid of'. The only little girl whom they've 'guarded' since young. Always asking my elder brothers to take care of me whenever we go for siblings outing. Always providing me with loading amount of love, care and concern. Of course, sufficient amount of money too!!!thanks dad...=) Once a friend told me "Why do you always do something just because u want to make ur parents happy?"...I guess deep down inside my heart, my parents take up a very special place. It takes no reason for me to just want to make my parents happy.

Having said that,

No matter how many times you disappointed me by quarreling in front of me
No matter how many times I've disappointed you by doing things that I shouldn't do
No matter how many times you've grounded me

You'll always be the pa & ma dearest to my heart.

On this special day of yours

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PA & HAPPY BIRTHDAY ER GE

Life in Kota Marudu

2009-01-04T22:20:00.000-08:00

This is my second week in Sabah and honestly it has been quite a fulfilling time here. Living with my brother in a rather "ulu" place in Sabah, Kota Marudu had given me time and space for myself. Good place for recuperating I would say. Good place for some self-reflection and reminiscing before I go all out for crazy stuffs (SCUBA diving and climbing mount KK for the second time) from 8th Jan onwards.

Haven't been doing much...In activities wise...But I am happy with it. Have been spending the past one week

playing with Amy =)=)
cooking for my bro's family
reading (my passion for reading story books finally returned- have to slow down my speed before i run out of storybooks here)
going to bro's hospital once in a while to see some cases (this requires lots of perseverance and discipline because waking up early enough for ward rounds is just so hard during holidays). But on the bright side, I did manage to see a caesarean section. =)
online, checking mails, checking out which hotels to book for diving, watching The Little Nyonya, Slam Dunk and Hot Shot on Youtube.
Talking to friends over the phone. Friends whom I never thought would call...Thank you guys...=)=)

Hmmm...Seems a lot that I've done....

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Two more days before I go diving...........I can't wait.........................................

=)
=)

short update =)

2008-12-09T17:21:00.000-08:00

I am officially on holiday now........

I am back in Malaysia already....

I haven't updated my blog for so so long...

There were so many events before I came back to Malaysia...

Highlight of the year....ANACONDA ADVENTURE RACE....

I completed it and I survived....not knowing that i actually completed the 16 km trail run..o.O

Event pictures

Valedictory Dinner2008

2008-10-16T04:59:00.001-07:00

It's Valedictory dinner tonight..After asking a lot of ppl around, finally i got to know that this is actually a dinner for all the third years in IH and also final year in Uni...It is an occasion to celebrate and address the contributions that have been given by the Valedicts. Awards were also given out on that night to those who have significantly spent their time and put in effort to participate in IH activities and also bring up IH....I, too have the opportunity to play the piano for them while all the valedicts performed a song - "SEASONS OF LOVE"...=)Our Table....=)
Shrink from Kenya...=)
James D. from Britain, Xin yu from JB, Akina from Japan and Hui Ling from Singapore...=)
Me!!!playing behind the screen....=)
Me!!!After playing and emerging behind the screen...hehe...
All the valedicts who sang.....Great song....=)
Went to N401 to take some random pics....haha...=)
Attempting to act cool...I am born with the talent...haha...just kidding...just kidding...
Attempting chimpanzee-look alike....
CUtey pose..........
Ppl from IMU...be proud of me...I brought the trademark CSY pose over to Melbourne...DOn't I deserve a pat on the shoulder??....=)=)(grinning widely)
Scared / shocked look...

Squeeze ur cheek bones...

That's all for tonight...

Good night everyone...

I wonder..

2008-10-11T19:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I would just wonder why am I using so much of my parents' money...

Year after year, my parents have been spending loads of money on my education and my living expenses..or more accurately just to "rear" me...When would I be able to be independent and repay them...When would I be able to be a better person and not waste my parent's effort "grooming" me into one who would bring happiness to ppl (as my name implies)...

This is just one of the days that my brain would steer me into the mode where I would start thinking too much...

Will I be a good doctor in the future?

Will I be a good doctor who would impact someone's life in the future?

Royal Melbourne Show

2008-10-11T18:32:00.001-07:00

snippets from Royal Melbourne Show...=)
The Chilli Factory...

It was a sunny day....!!!
My favourite animal on that day....Blacky the piggy...=)
They are so nice to cuddle....Meh.....
Can u imagine this?
Some info about pig....
How I wish i own her....
You wish.....

Happy eid....(^.^)

2008-10-04T22:35:00.001-07:00

Pn. NOrmizah (a secondary school teacher whom i met in the Uni Campus on the third day of arrival in Malbourne) decided to invite us (2 of her classmates and 3 ex- SETA students to have a gathering cum Hari Raya Celebration in her apartment. Despite the small number of ppl and lack of "equipments-cutleries, chairs and etc", we had a really great , cosy and warm raya celebration in a foreign land....=)Food that were served on that day...=)... We had Nasi impit, Rendang, Nasi Beryani, gado gado, timun yoghurt salad(?sounds weird but tasted nice), salad, kuih serimuka made by me=) and dessert made by pn. Normizah...Dessert made by Pn. Normizah...=)

Pn. Normizah with her 3 LOVELY ex-students...hehe...=p
group photo on the bed...
Another one..=)
Pn. Normizah giving a "briefing" on what food do we have that day...=)

Pn. Normizah and Yours truly...

p/s: I seriously need to lose weight...I am going CUSHINGOID...-.-lll...

Tulip festival 2008...

2008-09-27T18:27:00.001-07:00

Thanks to all my friends who showed concern after reading my last post...I guess I shouldn't be the one complaining if I don't dare to voice out my opinion..Have to kinda let others know how I feeland what I want rather than not voicing out but complaining..

Sigh...Skills yet to learn...

Anyway.Brush aside things that sadden me....Presenting to u....

TULIP FESTIVAL 2008Rows and rows and rows and rows of tulips......

White tulips......
More tulips........and the weather was superb....sunny and nice blue sky with fluffy white clouds...=)
Tadaa...........Danish pancakes with butter, icing sugar and maple syrup...=)
YUM YUM...
Pots of tulips for sale...
more tulips...=)
I am in the AIR!!!
SO cute right....WHo would bear to eat them??Fairy cupcakes...
Unique portable potato oven....

My favourite shot of the day...=)

I wanna live in a piece of flower land forever in the future....

Stop It!!!!!!

2008-09-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

I hate it when ppl likes to get ahead of you and snatch something(anything or opportunities) from you.

I hate it when ppl likes to get ahead of you, snatch something from you and then accused you for not wanting that thing.

I hate it when ppl likes to get ahead of you, snatch something from you, accused you for not wanting that thing and then give you advices on how to get that thing in the future.

I just hate hippocrites.

I hate hippocrites who are opportunists even more.

I hate being bullied by hippocrites who are opportunists.ARGHHHHH........

I hate myself the most for letting myself being bullied...

(^.^)

2008-09-18T06:28:00.001-07:00

Endocrine, renal and vascular surgery posting has been fabulous so far...

Having said that I have to wake up at 5.30am most of the days...Having said that I have to miss breakfast and lunch...Having said that many tutes actually got canceled last minute...

But, things are always going my way(or rather I always take them QUITE positively..haha) at some time along the road...The interns, regs and consultants are wonderful...I always have the luck of meeting helpful, nice interns who are willing to listen to my case presentations and teach me stuffs...Not forgetting the regs who volunteered to give us extra tutorials...And the nurses who was willing to guide me while I did cannulation and venepuncture...And most importantly the patients who were so cooperative and the one who taught me italian...It was really rewarding when I heard him saying " come again tomorrow...I want to talk to ppl...talking to u helps to relieve my pain"...It proved to me that it's possible that medical students are not just mere little parasites who make trouble by harassing patients and hurting ppl with our sub sub sub sufficient clinical skills...=) We were actually classify as OBJECTS below Senior consultants, Junior consultants, registrars, residents, interns, chief nurses, nurses, student nurses (apparently the old nurses take care of young nurses very well), bacteria, parasites and fungi...

THings achieved so far...

managed to make kuih serimuka with teresa's help
managed to make Jo-in's bday cake with teresa, adeline and Yun xin's help. I made a mocha cheese cake...YUM YUM YUM...
managed to take blood properly and send them to patho department...We don't send them personally. The have a Machine where u put the blood samples into a cannister and DUMP them into the chute and select ur destination and the blood samples will be sent to the department...cool right...

Things hoping to achieve in the NEAR future...

COOK...!!!
lose some weight....(Contradict my first plan)
revise a bit of my last block...
take more blood and learn to do IV cannulation properly...
perform on music night...

THings happening SOON...
Can't wait for SOnali to come over and stay over tomorrow...meeting up some of the others on saturday...and moving to yvonne's place for 2 weeks..AH....can't wait can't wait....Basketball is coming up soon...and I'm in the team!!!=)

New Block

2008-09-07T04:25:00.001-07:00

Starting from tomorrow onwards, I will be going to The Northern Hospital for 6 weeks to do my endocrine, uro, nephro and vascular block...Which in layman terms is the "hormone" block...I am absolutely looking forward to a brand new start.(at least a better one)...but it also means that I need to wake up at 6am and leave IH at 6.30am (going to miss breakky, lunch)...All because my timetable start at 8am EVERYDAY...and it takes me around 1.5 hours to reach this hospital....OH MY GOD...I hope I survive in one piece at the end of this block...

The block of "connective tissues" is officially over...sigh...all over the place...I wonder how much did the things that i studied actually stay in my brain...hope it's a lot...

Anyway....YAY!!!!Spring is here..!!! BYE BYE to Freezing cold winter and welcome the sunny, warm spring with blooming flowers everywhere...Can't wait for the tulip festival...!!!

Things to update...
1) I just joined the scariest sports (to me) ever...Australian Footee...I don't know how to explain..It was just the one and only sports that-- when the coach is calling out the starting team, I will be mumbling "please..please...please don't call my name..." I only played for 10 minutes for each game and I ended up with whole body muscle ache, a sprained big toe and few blue blacks..Not mentioning the emotional shock from getting tackled (basically means being grabbed from behind and thrown to the ground just because I am SMALLER in size compared to the aussies)...Although it was fun fighting to get hold of the ball, but the irony would also struck me as it was also a bad idea to have possession of the ball...which means dozens of ppl would be coming into ur direction trying to TACKLE u and get the ball...So, whenever I got the ball "OH MY GOD....Why am I holding the ball?" was what going through my mind...A BRAND NEW EXPERIENCE....that's what i can say...

2)Bought a pair of new boots...wanted to buy a pair of formal shoes actually but couldn't find a suitable pair...So, have to buy that lah....haha...

All the best to Chia Huan......

May I have the pleasure to make u smile?

2008-09-05T04:33:00.000-07:00

Read on...

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: ' I am blind, please help .' There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'

The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way..'
What he had written was: ' Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it. '

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?

Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Great men say, 'Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness…. In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.'

The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling…
And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

The Play....

2008-08-26T01:35:00.000-07:00

The theater where we performed our play...
Presenting to you IH play 2008 "The Curse of The Werewolf"
THe Backstage crew...
Andrew Fitzy as "Steiner"....The mad doctor who wanted to change human into werewolf...
Aaron as the "Pastor"...A very very funy one indeed...
DJ as Mr. Bancroft....
Maud as Frau Gausler..
Grace as "Mrs Bancroft" holding the camera....
"Otto" the German Policeman.....
With Shelly the penny whistle player, Rui xi and John....
James.....as "Ramsey"....He really brought "life" to the play....
Pamela, a brilliant actress who acted as Ingeborg....
CP who came to support us...
Yui....one of the make up crew members..
Adeline, one of the Ih-ers who came to watch...
Dhivia as Kitty, Dave as Martin, Amid as D'arcy, Maud as Frau Gausler...
The actors and actresses rehearsing one of the songs.
The 3 pianists...Chung, Heng Lin(the music captain aka the master pianist) and I...=)

The play was a success.. Although there were mistakes here and there, but as a whole all the ppl did really well...Given the short time frame to rehearse and practice, it was such a miracle that almost 70 % of the ticket were sold for the first 2 shows and the finale was full house...Everybody's hard work were paid off.=)

As for me, I really enjoyed playing the piano for the play...Although I didn't really get to play much due to limited time of practicing, it would be one of those moment in my life that I really don't want to forget..Most of the songs are duet...I would be playing the base and Heng Lin would be playing the harmony part...Sitting beside him and looking at how nimble his fingers moved all over the piano keys really amused me...Besides playing accompaniment for the songs, the entire play was also narrated by the piano...playing minor chords when something scary was about to happen, playing transitions when they were changing scenes...I only get to play the simple minor chords..But it was really an eye opener seeing how Heng Lin play songs which fit entirely to the mood of the play...Salute...And I am really glad that I joined...New experience gained...Something that I don't want to forget..Really thank you to Heng Lin...

After one week of rehearsing and performing, it's back to serious business again...Half way through my "skin, bones and joints " block, my brain isn't even half-filled with knowledge...sigh...Chia Huan....study!!!!

I scrubbed in for a surgery today...!!!!=)
Thanks to Dr. Cheng Lo(the plastics registra)..I get to stand beside him and watch how he did an excision of the left preauricular pigmented lesions. Honestly, it wasn't a major procedure. But I get excited just by helping him to cut his stitches and dabbing ptn's blood....haha....I like surgeries....=)

2008-08-16T22:52:00.000-07:00

I am glad that I pulled through the 40 hours of "hunger-ness". I felt like I could swallow a cow when i break fast. I think I did...(^.^)

Although I didn't raise as much money as the others cos I was really reluctant to ask the ppl in the hospital cos I don't really know them yet. I feel like I kind of scare quite a number of ppl by going up to ask for donations from strangers. But, I would really like to extend my deepest thanks to my friends who came up to me and gave donations. I really really appreciate the support. But, after all this I realised that I definitely do not get the hang of making friends easily. Ha....Lots to brush up on my interpersonal skills.

Things are getting a bit stiffen up btw me and my mum. I felt really annoyed with her kept bugging me to find a boyfriend. I know...I know she is just being concern. But, ma...that is just like the last thing in my list now...Looking and admiring at handsome guys are just different from trusting one and getting into a relationship.. And it is not that easy to find a suitable good guy nowadays. I really hope you would understand...

Lee Chong Wei is playing Lin Dan tonight...
Olympic Badminton Men's Singles Finals...

I WANNA WATCH!!!!!!!!
WHY CAN'T AUS TV CHANNEL SHOW IT????

40 hour famine

2008-08-10T04:26:00.000-07:00

Ok...A more serious post now...

If you happen to come across my blog, please read this post.

Hi, my name is Chia Huan, Ng.
I am doing the

World Vision 40 Hour Famine

in August this year. My friends and I are going without food for 40 hours (15-17 Aug 2008) to raise money to help kids in India who are forced into child labour, trafficking and slavery. Did you know that just $40 helps 8 kids for a month? My goal is to raise as much as I can to help the kids. Could you please support me and them by making a donation?

Thank you for supporting. For those of you who would like to donate but you are unable to pass me the cash or cheque, this is my famine book number

28233252-7

You can donate online at www.40hourfamine.com

THANK YOU!!!=)

contact me via my email if you have any questions

chiahuan85@yahoo.com

Please support...

Pictures update

2008-08-10T04:06:00.000-07:00

The view of the sky from my window...
The view on my left when I look out...
The view on my right when I look out...
View from my window....the main entrance of International House. The park right across the road is Princes Park, where I jog most of the time...
The Window in my room...
Due to craving for something more "Malaysian", I bought this when I went to Asian Grocery Store last week...I hope it will last long enough..And the freebie(a small Hello Panda Cup)...=)
The CHoir....=)
The Head and Assistant Head of College doing Mexican Dance....=)
Stressed...haha....eh hem...I still have a flat tummy...=)
Playing the Mexican National Anthem for the National Night

Austin Level 8 ward North

2008-08-07T05:40:00.000-07:00

Played squash this morning... We lost...But, I won my game....hehe...a small small smiley face...=)

Went for piano audition...I got through it...Will be performing in the play...*grin*

I am also playing Mexican National Anthem for the National Night.

Presented a long case to an intern and a resident...excellent!!!(for a first-timer)...*grin*

I like Austin Level 8 ward North...For some particular reason...hehe...=)

I like Orthopaedic team...Everyone is so nice...Consultant, registra, residents and interns...

Decided not to dwell on unhappy things...Don't want my loved ones to be unhappy too...

=) and the world will =) back at you...

Learned some russian from a russian interpretor today...so random...haha...it seems weather is getting warmer...=) spring is coming...AHHH...can't wait for the blooming flowers...

Hope u had a great day too...=)

I'm loving it...

2008-07-31T06:14:00.000-07:00

It has only been 4 days in clinicals, and I had seen so many things. So many cases, so many conditions.

Although I have to stand for almost 12 hours a day.

Although I have to travel one and a half hours a day.

Although I only get 6 hours sleep per day.

Although I always come back late and misses my dinner in college.

Although I am still such a noob in the hospital, running here and there to no where.=p

But, I'm loving it.

I am enjoying it. Enjoy being busy. Enjoy running around. =)

So many things to look forward to.

Seeing different ptns in OPD and in visiting patients in wards, meeting so dearly friendly doctors and professors who invited us to the meeting which serve wine and sushi. (It was an orthopaedic registra and orthopaedic surgeon's meeting which I had no idea what it was about.)hehe...So U know what I was busy with lah....eye-ing the unagi sushi...hehe...kidding kidding.I was paying attention ok...

So So many things to look forward to in IH too..
Would try to play piano for the IH play which will be in 3 weeks time....wow..."the curse of the werewolf".I really hope i can pass thro the audition.

Playing squash tomorrow...

=)

Weird feeling...

2008-07-20T06:07:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of my holiday...

I am suppose to feel excited because I am starting clinicals tomorrow. Something which I had been looking forward to since I entered Medical school.

I don't feel the excitement. I don't feel the happiness. I feel scared and worried. I don't know why...

Probably because I am homesick?

Probably because I am all alone here? further away from my IMU companions compared to last sem?

Probably because I am expecting a lot from myself?

Probably because I am worried that I can't wake up tomorrow?=(

(Chia Huan...Stop worrying...)

But, there are a few things that made me feel good...

Meeting up with Sonali for dinner was really great...thanks gal for being my close friend here...I enjoy ur company.

Webcam-ing with my parents had been great...maybe one day my whole family can web cam together...even with san ge, san sao and amy in Sabah...

I miss my winter hol back in Malaysia...I miss my friends.

But, still have to go and sleep now...can't imagine what would happen if i can't wake up in time tomorrow.

Good night...

End of holiday

2008-07-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

I am going back to Melbourne later today.

End of holiday.

Grateful that I got to meet most of my friends when I am back.

To those who are leaving for UK and Canada...Good luck, all the best and take care.

To those who have just started working...Hang in there...Working means money rolling into pocket..=)

To those who are still studying...hee...We are in the same boat so jia you!!!...=)

To my nephews and nieces...Please grow up slower...Cos when you grow up means I am getting older...-.-lll

To my family...sigh...I'll miss all of you...

Clinicals...here I come...=)

Back from Kota Marudu

2008-07-06T20:21:00.000-07:00

I just came back from Sabah and I'm 2 kg lighter......Hip hip hurray......

from a 3 days of diarrhoea....

=.=lll

I know I know...this is how your face look like now....

I went to visit my bro who is working in Kota Marudu (wonder where the hell is that?)--It's a super small (note the word super) town...nope..should be term as kampung towards the north of KK.Around 2 hours drive on those winding and tar-less roads(some parts of it)...To be honest, I was quite shock to see the living and working condition as such. Not to say very very bad as compared to those third world countries in Africa, but definitely way way too far back compared to big cities like KL where the ever annoying political bickering and accusations are going on. I went to the hospital for "attachment" with my bro. Frankly speaking, I don't even behave like a medical student. I'm just merely a timid sister tagging along a brother. Sigh...was quite scared that ppl might ask me to treat them cos my bro intro me as "ini adik saya, dia bakal doktor juga".After this intro, i get ppl calling me "doktor..doktor...kenapa saya..(fill in blanks with all those questions which I'm not confident to answer yet)"...I follow my bro for a ward round in the maternity ward in the morning and out patient department after that. Can u imagine there are mothers as young as 14-15 years old...OMG..14 years old...let me think wat was i doing when i am 14...I just got nominated to become a prefect in school, just started learning piano and sat for my grade3 piano exam, just got into debate team, just got into the girl guide marching team.. Pregnant? definitely a BIG No no...Yeah...Back in Kota Marudu, that's what happen...On the track of becoming a developed country, has our government done enough to curb the poverty and raise the level of education among ALL of our citizens? Besides that, what touch my nerves most was the number of malaria and TB cases in that area. As Malaria and TB are infectious diseases normally prevalent in areas with poor sanitation and bad living conditions, it's kind of sad that there are still so many cases seen in Malaysia? Isn't it time for the beloved leaders to do SOMETHING about it instead of getting involved in which side to stand on--the sodomy side or the Altantuya side.??

Sigh...I don't know...I just feel it's very ironic to see ppl working so hard over there and the citizens aren't leading a good life but those who live in big bungalows and get to enjoy air con everyday fighting against each other about "stupid" things...

OMG...this has become a ranting post instead of jotting down what i've done for the past one week...but it was really a good experience for me as I had always wanted to be a flying doctor aka Doctor without borders next time to serve in third world countries..the environment in Kota marudu is really close to that..But, I'm starting to have some self-doubt as towards the fifth day in KM I got diarrhoea...explosive watery stool..I think I was dehydrated after tat as I couldn't even sit properly...The good thing after that is I get to drink lots of 100 plus..hee...I didn't get to eat anything proper for the next two days which I think contributed to my Loss of weight...Something to be proud of??hmm...I don't reckon it's a good way to lose weight...I may lose my life too....

Yeah...The rest of the time were spent "looking" at my new born niece...Amy...My bro's first child...OMG...She is so cute although irritating cos she spent most of the day time sleeping and crying at night...Nocturnal animal..good candidate to become medical student next time..haha...

Yup..and I'm back in Peninsular...Going back next thursday..So, next few days would be full to get the rest of the errands done and meet-up with seremban peeps and BJ ppl...Hope everything will go as I plan before I go back to Melbourne...

Till then...ta...

grins=)

2008-06-27T18:27:00.000-07:00

I am elated with happiness......

because....

...

...

I PASSED!!!!!!

I passed!

I passed!

I passed the dreading, freaking hard (for me, maybe not for you) semester 5 exam..!

and...

ahem...

I am a fourth year medical student now...*grins* =)

OMG....I can't wait to go into clinicals...

*grins* again...

My Favourite...

2008-06-24T21:22:00.000-07:00

For obvious reason, this is my favourite mascot.....=)....=)

We share the same name....=)

Next, is to think of a way to get one of those soft toy of it....hee...=)
In the intimate circle of Fuwa, Huanhuan is the big brother. He is a child of fire, symbolizing the Olympic Flame and the passion of sport -- and passion is the blessing he bestows. Huanhuan stands in the center of Fuwa as the core embodiment of the Olympic spirit. And while he inspires all with the passion to run faster, jump higher and be stronger, he is also open and inviting. Wherever the light of Huanhuan shines, the inviting warmth of Beijing 2008 -- and the wishful blessings of the Chinese people -- can be felt. The fiery designs of his head ornament are drawn from the famed Dunhuang murals -- with just a touch of China's traditional lucky designs. Huanhuan is outgoing and enthusiastic. He excels at all the ball games and represents the red Olympic ring.

Beijing Olympic 2008 -- FUWA

2008-06-24T21:16:00.000-07:00

Like the Five Olympic Rings from which they draw their color and inspiration, Fuwa will serve as the Official Mascots of Beijing 2008 Olympic Games, carrying a message of friendship and peace -- and good wishes from China -- to children all over the world.

Designed to express the playful qualities of five little children who form an intimate circle of friends, Fuwa also embody the natural characteristics of four of China's most popular animals -- the Fish, the Panda, the Tibetan Antelope, the Swallow -- and the Olympic Flame.

Each of Fuwa has a rhyming two-syllable name -- a traditional way of expressing affection for children in China. Beibei is the Fish, Jingjing is the Panda, Huanhuan is the Olympic Flame, Yingying is the Tibetan Antelope and Nini is the Swallow.

When you put their names together -- Bei Jing Huan Ying Ni -- they say "Welcome to Beijing," offering a warm invitation that reflects the mission of Fuwa as young ambassadors for the Olympic Games.

Fuwa also embody both the landscape and the dreams and aspirations of people from every part of the vast country of China. In their origins and their headpieces, you can see the five elements of nature -- the sea, forest, fire, earth and sky -- all stylistic rendered in ways that represent the deep traditional influences of Chinese folk art and ornamentation.

Spreading Traditional Chinese Good Wishes Wherever They Go

In the ancient culture of China, there is a grand tradition of spreading good wishes through signs and symbols. Each of Fuwa symbolizes a different blessing -- and will honor this tradition by carrying their good wishes to the children of the world. Prosperity, happiness, passion, health and good luck will be spread to every continent as Fuwa carry their invitation to Beijing 2008 to every part of the globe.

At the heart of their mission -- and through all of their work -- Fuwa will seek to unite the world in peace and friendship through the Olympic spirit. Dedicated to helping Beijing 2008 spread its theme of One World, One Dream to every continent, Fuwa reflect the deep desire of the Chinese people to reach out to the world in friendship through the Games -- and to invite every man, woman and child to take part in the great celebration of human solidarity that China will host in the light of the flame in 2008.

dumplings..=)

2008-06-18T16:16:00.000-07:00

It was dumpling festival two sunday's ago...As i was busy preparing for my finals, I postponed the 'urge' to make dumplings until after exams. Yeah!!!and with the help of John, Juline, CP and Bharathy, we made around 60 bak-zhang(rice dumpling in hokkien) yesterday...!!!=)And it was for Dexter's farewell before he leaves for Hong Kong to do his AMS.

Feast your eyes and mind with pics....drool....=p The production crew and the bak zhang that we've made..=)The rice dumplings..............!!!!!Close up...

and yeah........................................!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

I'll be back in Malaysia in less than 12 hours.....=)

"It's such a great day"

2008-06-14T02:51:00.000-07:00

OMG....

It's such a great day....

I got caught by Daniel, the IH kitchen manager for bringing a friend for lunch...

And...

(drum rolls....................)

I sprained my right ankle again...right ankle....The same old one that i sprained last year...

Oh gosh...The stupid branch on the pavement...

and i sprained when i went jogging..that means no more jogging for these few days...

Duh...

Of all the things...

2008-06-12T21:29:00.000-07:00

Of all the things, they chose to ask about Quinolones.

Of all the things, they chose to ask about acute blood loss.

Of all the things, they chose to ask about Raltegravir.

It was a bad paper 2...........sob sob...=(

And on top of that, I lost my tram ticket which is worth AUD 28...-.-lll....duh...bad day...

I'm half way through........

2008-06-11T21:46:00.000-07:00

It's half way through.

Had my 100 MCQ paper on tuesday and OSCE on today. Although I wouldn't say that i did fabulous for the paper on tuesday, but i felt contented and satisfied after 2 whole hours of full concentration and filling in the 100 blank spaces with answers. No matter how the results are, I felt that I've already given my best. And as for the OSCE, there were neurological examination of lower limb and history taking about chest pain. Although I didn't get a perfectly complete history from the patient, but I am glad that at least I managed to talk fluently and finish the interview without panicking. It was really great for Neurological exam. Although I don't think that i did excellent, but I was surprised that I was able to answer the question asked by the examiner. It was such a wonder that I still remember where Common Peroneal Nerve supplies(almost 6 months after IMU EOS 5) although I didn't answer well for what difficulties would the patient have if there's a defect in that nerve.

So, everything is going well so far....I'm half way through!!!=)

I got a voicemail from Chloe, our IH receptionist to collect a parcel from the front office. With question marks in my mind who would have send me any parcel???And guess what....=p

They're the postcard and fudge chocolate from Joanne Chew Wye Wye in TASSIE...Thank you so much gal........=)
It's getting nearer and nearer to this end........I can see the rainbow.........!!!!(smile=))

Waiting for it to be over....

2008-06-09T03:10:00.001-07:00

No words seem to be able to describe my feelings now...

I feel stress, scared, anxious, "palpitating?" because exams are starting tomorrow...

I feel excited, relief, happy and good because after 7 days my exams will be over...

I seriously feel nauseous now...by just looking at the notes...

"Informations, facts and knowledge...please..please stay in my brain..."I can't wait to tear off the papers one by one...

Clap Clap!!!!

2008-06-03T14:46:00.001-07:00

Lets put our hands together and welcome the 5th grandchild of The Ng Family....

Little AMY NG KAI XIN

was born at 11-ish pm 3rd June 2008. "clap!!clap!!"

Oh ya...This is my san ge's (3rd brother) first child but I haven't got to talk to him or san sao(3rd sis-in-law) yet...But yeah, congrats congrats. I can't wait to go back and see the new born. Thanks to my 2nd bro who called at 2am(melbourne time) and told me the news. On top of that, he asked me why did i sleep so early.... DUH..!!!it's 2am ok....

The 2nd grand daughter and 5th grandchild after Wan Xin, Zu Ying, Zu Xiong and Zu Hao....

Aih....I miss them...

K...Back to study..

OMG....

2008-06-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

Everyone should go on a strike to protest against exams.

Exams are making ppl stress, wasting paper, wasting ink, wasting resources.

I'm so going to burn all the notes after exams and throw the ashes into south china sea (nope, i don wan't to bring them back to SCS to throw)Throw them into pacific ocean?Oh no... I don't know what's the ocean around Australia...Watever...Just throw them into the drain or flush them into toilet bowls... I feel like puking if i look at them one second longer.

Ok...I'm stress.....

OH MY GOD......!!!

Skeptical...

2008-05-28T16:52:00.000-07:00

13 more days till my first paper...

A bit skeptical of myself...Would I be able to survive through the exam safely? Stress, stress, stress... But, I'm really glad that how friendships between us(the IMU peeps) became stronger and also friendships with some of newly-found friends became closer. I guess this should be a really good experience for me to "fight the battle" bravely is a foreign land... grateful and lucky...

After reading an article forwarded by a friend about "the carrot, the egg and the oolong tea", it sort of made me ponder for a moment. As I know at certain time of our life, each and everyone of us had thought of making impact of other's life. Of course, most of the time we wanna make other's life better. But, little did we know that in the process of that, there will be a high chance that we, ourselves would be those changing. May it be like the carrot which went into the boiling water hard but came out being softer, or the egg which went into the boiling water with a hard shell and fluid content but came out "hard in the heart", or the oolong tea leaves which changed the water into oolong tea...fragrant and refreshing. It's kind of disappointing that, most of the ppl who want to become oolong tea, but in the process of life they're actually getting closer and closer to become a carrot or egg...

"I want to become oolong tea too...But, i feel like i'm more like an egg now"...haha.this statement sounds so funny...

Anyway, it seems that this is a protective mechanism which i had acquire throughout the years. I may not think that this is a good thing. But it certainly is a way of preventing myself from being hurt again. Although I don't think I have change my perceptions towards certain things in life, but i'm kinda sure that things won't happen so easily again. Which could be a good thing or a bad one.

P/s : Would you love someone because you really love them? Or would you love someone just because you need someone to be by your side? If you don't need someone to be by your side, is it possible for you not to love anyone anymore?

Forgive my randomness...Don't be too worried or excited...I'm still sane...

Gosh...I should be studying rather than typing all these crap...Duh...Hope after i typed it out, those crap would be cleared from my brain and leave some space for microbiology, virology, immunology and oncology...

=)

IH Tiny Team...=)

2008-05-23T19:22:00.000-07:00

My finals start on 10th june and end on 16th june...Can't wait to finish the exams and get on the plane back to Malaysia on 19th june...

But, the thing is the fear of not passing the exams kept haunting me. 14 weeks, 84 lectures in total., 14 PBLs, 14 weeks of labs. Not a problem to finish the lectures. The problem is how to approach the questions. Practicing history taking with Dexter brought my stress up to another level. Sigh...Stress is creeping onto me again...

Apart from all the depressing stuffs, "IH tiny team" won the inter-college volleyball competition. haha...SS a bit..I scored the last point by serving...

We were chanting the theme song composed by our coach, Charlie Parkes after the match point.

IH tiny team - in the tune of "yellow submarine"

In the house that we all live
There are the peo-ple short like me
but we don't care, what people say
cos we are proud to be in a tiny team

We all play for an IH tiny team
an IH tiny team
an IH tiny team

We all play for an IH winning team
an IH winning team
an IH winning team Yay....IH tiny team won!!!Another snippet of the team...
We went to KFC with 2 of the guy players...hmmm...First KFC in Melbourne...
And we went on to take some really really random pictures in uni...This is the Balilieu Library.In front of the main entrance of UNIMelb...The evolution starts here...Us trying to make "I-H"
=)
GOsh..."the ugliest jump ever"...haha..jkjk...Us attempting to jump in south lawn...At least a decent picture of us sitting on South Lawn...haha

P/s: thanks ppl for asking about my knee. It was supposed to be getting better. But, it hurts when i flex and extent fully. And it feels stiff when i wake up in the morning. Sounds like "arthritis" huh?...Ahhh............Old age.........haha...

Ok...Back to study...

Confirmed...

2008-05-10T16:32:00.000-07:00

Confirmed..............

I sprained my knee.....

Full stop...

I "love" papilloma, herpes and Toxoplasma.....-.-lll

2008-05-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

Hooray!!!

We (International House) won the first volley ball match against Ormond College in the inter-college volleyball competition..=)..With all the new techniques, i.e diving for the ball(with proper knee pads), serving overhead, playing against ppl who are 6 feet tall was really a new experience for me...Although I looked like (ok...I am) able to walk under the net without much bending, and the opponents being able to stretch out their hand and reach the tip of the net reflects how vast the difference in height between us and the opponents...We made a good team...It makes me kinda miss the M205 volleyball team though...Yeah..again, things come and go in life....I wonder how will I feel when i move out of IH..But, for sure I'll definitely miss the volleyball team...Just like I miss IMU when I came to Melbourne.

Ok...One match is down and many more to go next week. But, meanwhile I will have to "kill" the viruses and parasites. If not they'll be "haunting" me next monday...Gees....So much to study for this test in such a short time...Again, Chia Huan is playing too much...ping pong match coming up this saturday..Haha..I don't even have a bat...=)But nvm, I can do it...If i can't play well, I know I can surely entertain the others...=)

Off to study now...Human Papilloma...Here I come..."Dear Herpes, give me some inspirations on monday...-.-lll ...=)