I love my patients

I love my patients..

Not that they're under my care..

Who I meant were those that I've seen and talked to..

They never fail to teach me something new everyday..

There was this patient whom i saw today told me about her family and her current relationship with her daughter which wasn't as good as she had hoped..

She said she would have done something different if she knew this was going to happen.

Not forgetting to advise me...

"Do not let yourself drift away from your family, from your parents, from your home. Cos by the time when u realised it, it will be too late."

It struck me...

It sort of reminded me..

that I shouldnt take for granted of the existence of people around me anytime.

that I should spend more time with my parents, listen to them as they get older..

that I should cherish the things that I have and be grateful..

=)

I've found the reason

I think i've found the reason.

When I saw the care and concern radiating from his wife's eyes.

I think I've found the reason to keep him going.

He has to live on for the people he loves and also for the people who love him.

Just love

and nothing more than that.

I need a reason.

He has Multiple Myeloma (A blood cancer which eats up your bone and damage your organs- that's what he knows about his disease) with poorly controlled Diabetes (high blood sugar level) complicated by Ischaemic Heart Disease, Cerebrovascular Disease, Peripheral Vascular Disease. He had 2 bilateral leg amputations which one was above knee and the other was below knee due to the complication of Diabetes. Not long from now, he's gonna be on dialysis because of chronic renal impairment contributed by both Multiple Myeloma and Diabetes. His heart function is failing due to significant coronary artery disease and Aortic Valve Replacement Surgery to which he happily asked me to listen to the clicking of his heart valves.

He told me what he was gonna do when he is about to die.

To which I replied with a silent nod.

It pains me when he talks about death with a happy-smiley-worry-free-face.

It pains me when he told me all the pains and aches that he is going through.

It pains me when I see the tear at the corner of his eye throughout the entire conversation.

" Take care " was the only thing I could say when I left his bed.

Besides being able to talk and eat, help is needed to move about, dress, shower and going to toilet. This was his answer when I asked what he normally does in the nursing home :

" Nothing..."

Give me a reason to keep him going.

To which I hope I could.